My 2-month long service leave will officially ends in less than a week. Looking back at what I set myself to do, I said I wanted to (1) spend more time in nature, (2) go somewhere new, and (3) do good. Not the SMARTest objectives, I know. And if I assess it vis-a-vis what I did, I’ll give myself a “below the line”.
Half of the time is spent at home, trying being a stay-at-home-mom (epic fail), help around the house (more like lounge around) and basically trying to do nothing (workaholics unite!). A feat for someone who practices zero inbox and always on field work.
I’ll be lying if I didn’t say that the other half of this sabbatical is about me. Conceited and selfish? Maybe.
You see, the last 3 years is navigating motherhood. Establishing what kind of parent I want to be. Building safety nets. Motherhood and parenting is new that’s why I gave myself space and time to be able to learn the ropes, so to speak. It’s never ending so now I’m planning to just wing it!
I now feel that I have more space to do personal pampuso endeavors. I should not let other parts of my life on hold. And that’s alright.
In the course of 40 working days (I have 4 more remaining), I facilitated a workshop while my daughter tagged along. I got myself waxed all over. You read that right. The last time was a day before I went into labor. I watched plays and movies, went to museums. I’ve expanded my social circle. Hello, Tinder! Malaia and I have done 2 collaborative artwork. I’ve got new pasta recipes. I’m learning to play the ukulele while learning with friends. You’ve probably seen my home videos. And I finally able to let go and accept that some things are not meant to be. And again, that’s alright.
I failed reaching my objectives. But I gained so much more. Cliche, but true.
I’m down to 4 working days. And I am excited as hell to get back to work. But for now, let me smother my daughter some more.